Stages of Loss

It first starts with an emotionless look on ur face...

Where you don't quite understand what has just happened... 

This stage lasts for some time... 

Where you don't know what happened.. 

Where you think that, it is just your head,,,

Then comes the phase when you deny what you know deep in your heart,,,

You think that by your denial, things won't be as true as they really are... 

You refuse talking about it, believing that at any moment, something will happen to undo what is going on and that you will prove yourself wrong... 

Then there is this poker face again, when you start to realize it is true,,, he is no longer gonna be there again... He is gone forever..

That is when your emotions begin to surface, when the tears know the way to your eyes, when the pain takes your chest as a home... When the rage is all you know... 

You are now sure that he is not there anymore, that no one will come home again... You won't hear his key chain approaching to open the door... 

You won't play together, talk together, or eat together ever again... 

You won't hear him singing at night or have anymore bedtime stories that lets you sleep in peace... 

Then comes the same emotionless phase all over again... Where you try to calm yourself down... Tell yourself that everything is going to be fine... Life goes on... It is all about stages, steps I will have to take... 

This is when the real smile finally finds the door to your face and your heart... When your soul and mind come to peace...And only then you will begin to flower again... 

Broken hearted

Heaviness in your chest

The constant feeling that you are irritated and sad

Tears that never dry over your pillow at night

Nightmare and screams in your sleep

Songs that when you hear, you feel like crying...

Your breath that feels hard to take

The one person you think of in the begining of the day and before your sleep...

Insomnia... 

If you do have these symptoms, then you have a broken heart my friend... 

The feeling that no matter what you do, no matter where you'd be, you are still alone... 

No matter how many people you are hanging with or how many friends you know, they are not the person you'd rather be with... 

Noone can satisfy you... 

Nothing can replace that empty space in your heart...

The pain in your chest increases as time goes on and it gets heavier and heavier...

Your eyes are sad, tears come easy and the term happiness seems like a long forgotten expression, that you no longer understand or feel.. 

Like it has been dark since you were born... 

You see no colours, to you, everything lost its taste

There is no purpose of life...

You start taking a poker face with everyone, telling people you are fine, when you feel like dying inside... 

You go home everyday wishing to spend some more minutes with this person, smell his scent, watch his smile... 

This must be the end, you think...

There is no more future for me... 

It is not... 

The key to overcome this is to let your feelings out... With a friend, family or even with yourself, write it down, record what you feel, whatever that will make you comfortable...

Then comes the second part, where you understand that you are going through phases and that, there is no rushing... Take your time... 

Give yourself the time you need to let your feelings out, be okay with the facts and face them bravely...

Know that life takes things to give things, even if later... And also know that, life never stops for anyone... 

Time heals everything... And as time goes on... The pain will go away... Your broken heart will heal and your tears will stop and dry... 

Don't lose hope...

The incarnated desire